LARA MAZZACARO

Lara is a holistic healer qualified in QHHT Quantum healing Hypnosis Technique and Reiki Healing.

Here is her story …

Although I often say that my spiritual journey started in 2017, the very beginning really began in the summer of 2015. Up until this point, for as long as I can remember, I was living my adult life going through the motions. I was going to work every day (to a job that didn’t inspire me), going out at weekends, drinking alcohol, dating, the usual. But I always felt a little empty inside. I felt purposeless. Life didn’t really have any meaning to me. 

I tried to push this feeling to the back of my mind as much as possible. Keeping busy helped. I kept myself super busy, because if I let my mind wander too much, I became very unhappy. 

So you know, the usual blocks were put into place. Working and commuting long hours.Gym and exercise after work. Drinking on the weekends. Dating. Travelling. Seeing friends and committing myself to doing as much as possible, even when my body really needed a rest. And even then, I still felt deep down inside a lack of purpose.

“What am I doing here? Why do I do all these things everyone else does but I don’t feel happy? I’m supposed to feel happy. Nothing is particularly wrong with my life – it doesn’t inspire me, but there is definitely nothing I can see wrong with it.” And no matter how much I tried to ignore this feeling, it kept coming back to me. Each time a little more than the last.

By the summer of 2015 my body and mind were not in the best of places. My mind was unhappy. My body was tired from everything – not just from me putting it through its paces to block out my mind, but also because (I know now) I had pretty much experienced this feeling of ‘what really is the point’. 

Naturally I got sick (ever notice how you usually get sick when your mind is unhappy?!) Tonsillitis. I’d had this ever since I was young. It comes and it goes, so I didn’t listen to my body when it was telling me to rest and get better. I had things to do. I had to go to work. I had to go to the gym. I had to keep to social commitments. It’s only tonsillitis anyway, not a big deal. But it kept getting worse. Two weeks in and the doctors had prescribed me x3 different types of antibiotics – none of which had worked. I felt horrendous. I couldn’t swallow – so therefore I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t drink, I could barely swallow my own saliva. My body was so cold that I was waking up at 4 am and running a boiling hot bath just to sit in it for a few minutes to warm myself up. I was taking a hot water bottle to work on the tube in the morning, in the peak of the summer. Imagine that – I was STILL going to work. I just wouldn’t listen to my own body. And then, of course, I collapsed! The ambulance came and the paramedic said it was the worst case of tonsillitis he had ever seen. My whole throat was completely grey. They took me to hospital and put me on an IV drip. Which honestly felt like the best thing EVER. My poor body hadn’t had any nutrients or liquid for weeks.

I was in the hospital for 4 days and they eventually diagnosed me with Glandular Fever, whatever that was, I didn’t know at the time. The doctor signed me off for 2 weeks, but I called up my boss and said I would be back in 2 days. I didn’t want to let anyone down. Plus, I almost felt back to normal again. 

I was discharged from the hospital and the next day, back at home, I needed to go to the shop. I had no food in, and it was a nice sunny day in London. The big Sainsburys was only a 5 minute walk away, so off I went. As I got to the end of my road I started to feel a little light headed. Not really paying attention to this I carried on, but by the time I got to the shop (2 minutes later) my body had begun to feel incredibly weak. Almost like it couldn’t move. I managed to get myself to the shop toilets and sat down on the floor. It felt like I weighed as much as a ton of bricks. I didn’t know what to do, because I couldn’t get back up, and you know what London’s like, nobody was trying to help me. 

I had been sitting on that floor for about 45 minutes. And then somebody rushed in, jumping over me and into the toilet. They must have had a stomach bug or something, because what I heard wasn’t pretty. This was my cue to leave. 

I managed to get myself up, and very slowly, managed to get out of the shop. What should have been a 5 minute walk back to my house seemed to take an hour. Luckily there was a wall running down my street that I was able to hold onto and sit on when I was struggling too much. When I finally got home, I collapsed onto my bed and rang my parents who came straight away to help me out of my house (I couldn’t move by myself) and took me back to the family home. Things got progressively worse from there. Over several weeks my body became so tired and weak, I was unable to even lift up a glass of water. I couldn’t eat. My body ached all over. It felt like my whole body had given up. And mentally, so had I.

When I finally returned back to London and back to reality, the next 2 years of my life just seemed like an even bigger struggle than they had done before. I had been diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue syndrome. A common after effect of Glandular Fever.Of which, there is no known cure for. It would come and go in severity, but for the most part I was constantly tired. I would fall asleep to and from work during my commute, in the office I would fall asleep on myself at my desk, at lunch times I would use that hour break to sleep again, and as soon as I got in from work and at the weekends I would mostly just be sleeping then too. My body felt so weak and heavy it physically hurt me to hold myself up, and if I had to do so without support for more than even half an hour it would trigger a bout of heavy fatigue that would see me off work for a week. 

When a bout of heavy fatigue came along, so did the aches. For some reason when I got really tired, my body would ache so much that even laying in bed was uncomfortable and I would be unable to sleep without heavy doses of painkillers. 

I had no choice during these years but to start to learn to listen to my body. I could no longer keep pushing myself to stay busy and block out everything I was trying to block out any longer. Naturally – then came the depression. I’ve never been scared of death. But in these years I would of actually been grateful for it. It felt like my life had been taken out of my own hands. I’ve always enjoyed adventure and progression. But here I am unable to partake in either. My job – that I didn’t enjoy- I couldn’t leave, because I was so sick nobody else would want to hire me. I couldn’t make long term plans with people because I didn’t know if I would be well enough to keep to them. My body just wasn’t getting better. And the worst part for me, aside from this, was that nobody seemed to understand. “Oh you’re just tired, I get tired too, you just need to push past it”, “you’re just being lazy, if you exercise you’ll feel better”, if you do this, if you do that, it’s only tiredness. They didn’t understand. And who can blame them. I wouldn’t have either before this. So there came the anxiety. Anxious everyone thought less of me. Anxious that I wasn’t understood. Throw in the depression for good measure and that was me. And boy did I feel sorry for myself! 

This pattern continued up until spring 2017, where my life began to change for the better. For a completely different reason altogether (a good old fashioned break up) I’d decided to take up reading to take my mind off of things (of course). A friend had suggested a book by Khloe Kardashian, not very spiritual I know – but I am incredibly grateful to this book as it made me realise how much I enjoyed reading, which previously to this I hadn’t done in years. Upon finishing this book I felt compelled to read another. 

Back onto Amazon I went, and there popped up the book that would be the start of a huge shift in my life. Light is the new black by Rebecca Campbell. I didn’t really look too much into what it was about, it had a pretty cover, and apparently that was enough for me at the time. When I began to read it, it genuinely felt like somebody had jumped inside of my mind, and took all of the things I had been feeling and put them into a book – except this one had the answers to everything I had been wondering. It made me feel completely different towards life. Here was somebody who had been feeling like me. And not only that, she’s found a way to no longer feel that way. And she has a purpose. And she’s written a book – that must mean that there’s other people that feel like me too. I’m not alone. In the book, Rebecca Campbell spoke about being a ‘Lightworker’. At the time I had no idea what that was at all, but I had every intention of finding out. This book had resonated more with me than anything else ever had in my life, and I was dedicated to the cause of finding out more.

I bought a couple more books about angels, spirit guides, becoming a psychic and I couldn’t read them fast enough. Every book I read resonated with my soul even more than the last. And before long I realised that that was it. I had finally found my purpose. I had found my reason for life. I still wasn’t exactly sure what it was I would be doing (and it would take another 2 years for me to determine that) but I knew my direction and that was enough. 

This feeling of direction had me so excited that I knew I didn’t have the time to wallow in self pity or illness anymore. I had to get better. I had reason to live. 

Now I had never been one for meditation, i’d poo poo’d the idea of it all for many years and I certainly never wanted to clear my mind, because for most of my life I had been trying to run away from it. Not quieten the thoughts so all that was there was me and it. But all of a sudden I had this strong urge to meditate.  

On the tube every morning, I would get my seat for my 45 minute journey and usually I would fall asleep for it. But this time I just followed the guidance in my head (I still didn’t really know what was going on at this point, but by now i was DESPERATE to be better, and for some reason this really felt like the right thing to do). At first I was imagining a white light starting at the top of my head and working its way down my body to my toes. Clearing out anything negative that was being held there. Next I imagined little gold sparkly balls coming through the top of my head. I wasn’t sure what these were, but they ran through my body and made me feel good. Lastly came these sparkly orange balls, again through the top of my head and around my body, and these ones expanded in my body, they were big orange sparkly balls of energy floating around inside of me giving me the energy I needed to recover. I did this meditation every day for months. And sure enough, I began to heal. Infact I felt AMAZING. I was socialising again. I was going to the gym. I was booking holidays.

Something that I had imagined in my head  on the train on the way to work had helped heal me more than all the doctors and hospital appointments put together. It was at this time I realised, the power of the mind. The power of meditation. The power of listening to my instincts. And most of all the power of living a life with purpose. 

It took me another year and a half to be truly 100% recovered from Chronic Fatigue (the very minimal bouts I was experiencing stopped altogether when I finally got a job that gave me purpose).

Now, I have researched, trained, and practised mind body and soul healing almost every day for the past couple of years, and I realise that all of the above happened FOR ME, so that I could find myself. So that I could understand myself. So that I could understand others. So that I could be relatable. So that I would feel passionate about understanding how our mind, body and soul is all connected, and by healing them, you can live your life in a way that makes you truly happy. And that when you are truly happy, you are emulating good energies – enabling you to attract good energies and so forth. (If you’re reading this, you’ve probably read the Law of Attraction – so you know where I am going with this)

This taught me that no matter how much you try to ignore those thoughts in the back of your mind, eventually whatever it is that it’s trying to tell you, it will tell you in ways that you cannot ignore – through the body. And if you ignore the little signs it sends you through the body, it will send you bigger ones. And bigger ones. Until you have to face up to them.

And this is why I do what I do now.

Quantum Healing Hypnosis Technique: This is where we connect you to your higher self (my higher self was the part of me that was telling me to do the meditation on the tube) for healing, guidance, and answers to any questions you have regarding your life in order to help you live your lifes true purpose. 

Reiki: Healing your energy centres and disposing of the negative energy blocks you might be holding onto in certain parts of the body, enabling your energy to flow freely. Expanding your aura and making you feel more connected to your higher self. 

I hope you enjoyed my blog and please feel free to contact me for any questions, feedback or booking enquiries on.

[email protected]

www.laramazzacaro.com

Love and Light 

LARA x

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