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Yoga saved me

Hi,

I’m Gemma Linaker. British wheel of yoga teacher, Holistic therapist and owner of Lemonstem yoga studio.

In 2013 I was 26 years of age and I was working as a teacher at our town’s local college teaching beauty & holistic therapies. This was my first Job as a teacher after graduating from university with a teaching degree. I had my first home with my partner, a good job, degree and an abundant of family and friends around me. Things were looking beautiful from the “outside”

But that’s exactly it. “The outside”

On the inside I was battling with anxiety. This was the kind of anxiety that nestles deep in your entire being. This was the type of anxiety where you felt suffocated by your own thoughts. 

Each morning a beam of light shone through my curtains from my bed reminding me it’s a new day to walk side by side again with my shadow of darkness. I couldn’t wait for each day to be over in the hope that the next morning my shadow would be gone. 

 This anxiety gave me a foggy vision and a heavy heart. If I close my eyes, I can still feel the cold that the grey cloud swept me in.

I remember clearly being in the gym one evening and deciding to try a yoga class. I had never tried yoga before, but at the time I was very much into running half marathons and even my first full marathon, so I only went really because I thought I needed to stretch more. I never once thought yoga was as much about the mental healing as it is physical healing. 

I will never forget that first class. Something happened. I found a glimmer of myself inside. She only came out for a split second, but I found her. She was in there trapped. I needed to get her out.

I walked away from that class confused, enlightened, frightened, happy and curious! I know, what a mix bag of emotions hey

I wanted MORE! 

Each week I attended class. Sometimes with a heavy heart and other times I felt aligned and my mind clear as water. You see the thing is your yoga mat doesn’t care if you come with a jumbled mind, all it cares about is that you show up.

I began to yoga consistently and fall deeply in love with self help books. Even today you will always find me carrying a self-help book. My first self-help book that brought to me my first ever sprinkle of magic was the secret.

From here my holistic approach to wellness snowballed. I started to eat better, to move in a gentler approach as opposed to all the running I used to do. My mind felt clearer and I was taught how to see the beauty in every single moment and appreciate every loving breath I was given by this universe. 

In 2017 I was due to go back to the college after having a year off with my first child Freddie. Something didn’t feel right about it. I guess I felt this wasn’t no longer my path anymore. I had changed. Or better to say I had found my true self.

Later that year I followed my calling and trained to be a yoga teacher with the British wheel of yoga school. The rest is history! 

My career is beautiful. I get to share the beauty and healing properties of this ancient practice with our human race and it literally fills every cell of my body with humility and Joy.

If you have never tried a yoga class before then I urge you to try one. Yoga is a breath led practice which is simply the best gift you could ever give to yourself. 

There are many wonderful teachers out there all sharing a little piece of their own hearts with you. Each teacher will offer something different and you will find your teachers that you connect with, and when that happens, the magic surely arrives.

There is so much to explore with yoga, it doesn’t just stop after taking one class. The teachings are infinite, and this blog only gives you a glimmer.

But what I will promise you, is that once you begin to start working on yourself of all mentally, physically and spiritually you will never look back. You will always continue to be the best version of your true self.

So, what are you waiting for? Find your class, step onto your mat and watch your path enfold out Infront of you.

My favourite quote 

“Yoga isn’t about touching your toes. It’s about what you learn on the way down” – Jigar Gor

Love & Light

Gemma Linaker

Growing up and being from Romany Gypsy heritage I always knew that I was a bit “different”. I was always very naturally spiritual as a child mainly in my early teens when I started to wonder about life and myself.

I had a sacred space in my bedroom I made that I would use to feel safe and strong. I was always attracted to the little shops you get at the seaside with dream catchers and crystals and magical things.

It wasn’t until my mid 20’s that I met someone who ignited this magic back inside me just through one sentence and simple energy exchange.From that day I never looked back. That was  about 4 years ago now and from that I started to meditate by doing a water cleanse each day, which I have already blogged about.

I didn’t learn it or read about it, it just came naturally to me. My mom then gifted me these little animals that hold a unique amazing energy she was drawn to in a charity shop, along with Kyle Grey ‘Raise Your vibration’ book. From then I started to use mediation for ways to get me through my life at that time.

This helped me gain insight to who I was, my intuition grew stronger and I knew I was about to face a complete life change. I was right…of course, as your gut instinct always is!… and then my life did a 360 as fast as I could click my fingers.

It was the beginning of something painful but wonderful and I would not change any of it.

The change knocked me back a bit in terms of where I wanted to live, my passion for work, my motivation stalled and gradually things came to a halt in all areas of my life. I am a very positive person, I also like to stay positive for people around me too.

However, around 10 months ago I surrendered. Feelings were triggered by special people who came in my life. Feelings I had never felt before, and feelings that were linked to my childhood, past friendships and past relationships.

I felt love, fear, rejection, anxiety (for the first time), anger, emotional and physical pain, depression and loss. I kept up my meditation and staying positive and working my way through life because one thing I learnt very young was to never give up and to face fears to move forward.

One emotion of abandonment was triggered inside me that I never even knew existed! I was like wow WTF! But I faced it head on and from that moment I knew all this emotion that had surfaced needed to be cleared. It needed to be healed in order for me to understand myself, my soul purpose here on earth and to create a happy life not just for me but for the people close to me.

One thing I have never said is “why me?” or “why not them?”.  One thing I avoid is those statements because ultimately we choose what life we want to live. Its all down to us. We have to make mistakes in order for us to grow.

I decided to go to Wales for the weekend to do some soul searching last August time. I did my angel cards which told me to join a soul group or religion. In that time ‘she rise’ soul circle had been born and I joined. From this I decided to start spiritual life coach sessions with Jayel – ‘She Rise’. One of the most amazing Angels to bless this earth. But they say that we meet everyone for a reason right!? … and she is the light! (her details bottom of the page).

That is when she advised me to start journaling every single day. She sends me away with home work and I am very self disciplined with it. This for me wasn’t just a chat, it was Grace…get your inner shit sorted NOW!

Thats when I started my journal. I add it into my night time routine. Brush my teeth, moisturise, answer people on my phone, set my alarm, put the phone away on silent, read, write in my journal,drink water, sleep.

It changed my life. I can’t guarantee you its going to change your life like it did mine. We are all here living a different life, we are all different people on a different journey. I can’t guarantee it will make you happy. It brings me happiness and a pain too. Thats part of the healing process. Its accepting life for what it is and accepting yourself for who you are and let feelings flow through.

I can’t guarantee its going to bring you, success, love, relationships, wealth, health or anything that you might “want” or “need” at this point in your life. I can’t guarantee its going to sort current relationships out, physical or mental problems.

But what I can guarantee from my experience is that if you stick to this every single night, it will bring you an awareness of how how you are feeling. It will connect your mind, body and soul.

It will give you access to your higher self. What brings your vibe up through your day, it could be as little as the bottle of water you drank after that hard gym work out! It brings you to learn how to live in the present moment, to live each day how YOU want.

I can tell you it will give you awareness of who, or what brings you down.What food you are eating that is triggering an emotion or a feeling in your body. What patterns start to occur in your life, positive and negative. As stated above,everyone is different so we all experience different things from it.

This will bring you a whole insight as to what you are actually grateful for, the essential things in life that we forget about because we can get so consumed in everything and everyone else around us.

With this information you can analyse. You can do what you please. No one can tell you what do do with it, no one can teach you what to do with it. You can be guided by someone but anyone who tries to teach you is not authentic. Only YOU can teach yourself, there is no right or wrong.

The answer is within YOU. You already have it in there. You just just have to be brave enough to find it.

You have to tune in, listen to your body, analyse any feeling that is triggered from your core soul. Realisations may hit you, hard changes may need to be made, but it is a simple task that can have amazing positive impacts on your life.

Below are the 8 questions I made up myself and started out answering every night before I sleep. 

How did you wake up feeling today?

What did you eat today?

What made your vibe raise up?

What made your vibe down?

How is your bodily health feeling today? (Ie , headache, aches pains etc)

What would you like to manifest?

What are you grateful for?

How do you want to wake up tomorrow feeling like?

Once I did this for a few months I took out the question of ‘what made your vibe down?’. I felt as though I gained access to who and what was causing me discomfort. So once that was recognised  I started to remove those things and people who caused that effect on me from my life, one being tomatoes!! who would have thought! Now that question is gone if anything in particular happens that is off balance I write it in that space.

I believe when you can cross that question out you are facing fears and making positive changes in your life!

So why not give it a go!  Please don’t have incredible expectations. Because as I said above I can’t guarantee it will work for you like it did for me. Just go in with an open mind and allow yourself to stay discipled to doing this everyday.

Good luck!

Love Light and Happiness

G

xx

SHE RISE with Jayel www.sherise.co.uk IG:@sheriseuk

 

 

 

 

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